My little boy has started taking his wooden step to our bedroom window each morning so he can look out. I’m not sure if the window sill is too high or he’s too small but he enjoys this ritual of scraping the step along the floor all the way from the bathroom. And this morning, he asked me “Where’s George?”. George is the name by which my Series Land Rover is affectionately known to family and friends. I’d moved him from the position blocking the drive yesterday so I cheerily replied “he’s behind the hedge”. “He’s not!” Small person was indignant. George can’t hide behind many hedges anyway – his height and roof bars usually give him away. So still wrapped in a towel from my shower, I ran over to the window. And there, where I’d parked George the previous morning was a grubby patch of road where the street sweeper can’t reach – and no Land Rover.
The next couple of minutes were filled with a mix of the nausea one feels when a favourite item is potentially lost for good and a complete inability to understand how I could possibly explain this to a three year old. The Landie was there at 11 the previous evening when we returned from a family outing. And now it’s gone. With my belongings in.
After quickly logging it with the police I wandered, a little lost, around the rectangle of dirty road. This sort of thing happens to other people. Why didn’t they take the Eurobox off the drive instead – don’t they know this is George? So I marched round the neighbours’ houses and stopped passers-by. No, we were asleep. Sorry, our bedroom’s at the back. Yes, we were particularly tired last night. Do you realise it’s a Home Watch area? Yes, actually – the Land Rover was parked right under a bloody Home Watch sign.
And then a lady out for an early morning run doubled back to deliver these magical words: “There’s an old Land Rover parked further along the lane”. And there sat George, smashed steering lock, wires hanging out and some dim lights from the dash but mine again.
In the mean time, my wife had done the right thing with our small one. She’d asked him to draw a picture of George to help the police find him. I know my Land Rover isn’t orange but it had me in pieces.Tweet